drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
