Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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