He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize