"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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