the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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