is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My vagina is officially offended.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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