Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
