THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
