ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
