Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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