To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
