My room smells like vodka and shame
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
