I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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