She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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