If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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