How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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