i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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