I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
