youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
