Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize