I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
