i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
