she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
