are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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