We won't sleep together?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Randomize