Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
