My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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