It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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