I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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