Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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