I faked an abortion last night.
i was born a porn star she said
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just found a bag of teeth...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
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