Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
