theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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