3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize