Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize