Got a toothbrush?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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