Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
