yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
