Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
