Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
