happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
