It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
