Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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