If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize