Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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