Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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