i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize