I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm experimenting with sincerity
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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