That's when you crack a 10am beer
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
