We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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