nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
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I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
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She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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