I'm eating all of the evidence.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize