the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
